Posts

Gossip folks!

Not just a song by Missy Elliott,my voices are turning into some odd gossiping male spirits! They are not nice at all. They even attempt to fornicate with me at will! They try and control and scare me. I've been told I am insane or have some evil spirit trying to attach itself to me on a plane of his own reality.
Maybe,but it's a challenge that never ends. Praying does help,but only for a moment. Medicine does not help at all! In fact,it never did. And you may say that to keep taking it will show improvement,to me that's bull. What does help is some true communication and some basic interference. Something to hush the voices. Something like well more gossip or just some everyday chit chat.

Remembering my mom!

Image
My voices are telling me things about her like they are angels or demons.
And it's hard to deal with.  Mom is dying and although alive,I have made her memorial early.
I will edit it later.
It's been almost three years since I have her at the hospice. I have been avoiding her,cause I feel like I failed her.
I dont have the grandkids she wanted or have I finished school yet.
But I am trying?
I am!
And I put on weight instead of loosing.
Also,this is as far I got in life. Living at Tender Mercies on my own earned disability funds.
She was too. Living the same. I guess it's better than nothing?
Good thing is I got to see mom before dying. I will see her again on Sunday unless she passes.
I will take a cab out there this time.
I also may have to buy her headstone for around hundred dollars.
Hopefully,I will have enough funds.
I will truly miss her. All the good times. All the love. Good bye mom. See you in heaven someday! <3


Critical Inner Voice?

Ok,so I read on a site about negative voices.
I was wondering who else hears negative voices like mine,where they actually talk to me and think for themselves.
Also,my thoughts are negative at times and disorganized. I even swear to Jesus and God in my head without a reason!
I am scared I am going to hell for this.
I have tried music,sleep,and meditation. Sleep helps as does some music.
But now even music is repeating in my head!

Old woman moving,Fat boy moving zero,and Flesh Moving One?

These are the retarded names that this evil Satanic man with a deep voice in my head and outside my head,calls me and my mother instead of our names! It's sick. Calling my mom "old woman moving" and "wash eerie wash wash". Sounds childish. Sounds really silly and he calls her that cause of the Sims 2 and Sims 4 games I play. See,I made my mom a Sim. And he claims to "see thru me and at me". Which is creepy. And funny too,is he calls me "flesh mover" or "flesh moving one" now cause my stomach shakes when I move he claims. Whover he is is just mainly a sick bastard!

I am being watched by my voices!

Yes,every second of every minute I am being watched by these two "beings" in my head. From the inside out,and outside in!
It makes me wanna kill myself!
It's not what I wanted from him(Michael/Daryl). And definately not what I wanted from damn Lucifer or (The Clown).
I keep hearing them swallowing and blowing in my ear. They are disgusting. Sometimes,I want to just move away from all this bullshit they bring. Be normal again.

4 seconds of freedom!

I meditated this evening for a few seconds. And in those few seconds I found clarity. I heard nothing but my surroundings and not voices! Sometimes,I get lucky breaks and  I will hear nothing! So I know my head is messed up with these voices. It's not other people I hear.

My face is my well,mine! And humanoid computers arent fat!

Funny title I know,but the voices are that insane! Seriously,they think crazy shit and pretend they are everyone around. Lately,I noticed they are noone but ignorant voices. Not even silly niggas on the side of the street lamp talking while I stroll past,are this childish. I mean damn. One voice is so fucking stupid,he thinks I got a face morpher app for a face. Like a fucking robotic woman with a tv for a face. Hoe retarded! And the other voice named Daryl Boo,is just plain gullable. He believes anything someone says. And he thinks he is God,while hating on Jesus. Crazy shit! He is so childish he barely can read or write or even act normal. His ass can't even spell or count right. And the demonoid voice,he just is a menance to al who hears him. He just is a retarded negro-sounding ape-fucking lunatic voice. He is the "big bad wolf" I hear.